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Bullying
Resources for parents, students and
staff
How to Intervene to Stop
Bullying: Tips for
On–the–Spot Intervention at
School
As adults, we may feel
uncertain about how to
handle bullying when we see
or hear it happening. Or,we
may respond in ways that
don’t make the best use of
the opportunity to teach a
young person the difference
between appropriate and
inappropriate behavior. If
the situation is not handled
appropriately, we could end
up inadvertently promoting,
rather than reducing
bullying.
Here are some tips to help
respond more effectively
on-the-spot and make the
best use of the “teachable
moment” with all students at
school.
When you see or hear
bullying:
-
Immediately stop the
bullying:
Stand between the
child(ren) who bullied
and those who were
bullied, preferably
blocking eye contact
between them. Don’t send
any students away—
especially bystander(s).
Don’t immediately ask
about or discuss the
reason for the bullying
or try to sort out the
facts.
-
Refer to the bullying
behavior and to the
relevant school rules
against bullying.
Use a matter-of-fact
tone of voice to state
what behaviors you
saw/heard. Let students
know that bullying is
unacceptable and against
school rules (e.g.“Calling
someone names is
bullying and is against
our school rules,” or
“That was bullying. I
won’t allow students to
push or hurt each other
that way”).
-
Support the bullied
child in a way that
allows him/her to regain
self-control, to “save
face,” and to feel
supported and safe from
retaliation.
Make a point to see the
child later in private
if she/he is upset, but
don’t ask what happened
at the time of the
incident. It can be very
uncomfortable to be
questioned in front of
other students. Let
his/her teacher(s) know
what happened to provide
additional support and
protection. Increase
supervision to assure
the bullying is not
repeated and does not
escalate.
-
Include the bystanders
in the conversation and
give them guidance about
how they might
appropriately intervene
or get help next time.
Don’t put bystanders
on-the-spot to explain
publicly what they
observed. Use a calm,
matter-of-fact,
supportive tone of voice
to let them know that
you noticed their
inaction or that you are
pleased with the way
they tried to help—even
if they weren’t
successful. If they did
not act, or if they
responded in aggressive
ways, encourage them to
take a more active or
prosocial role next time
(e.g. “Maybe you weren’t
sure what to do. Next
time, please tell the
person to stop or get an
adult to help if you
feel you can’t work
together to handle the
situation”).
-
If appropriate, impose
immediate consequences
for students who bully
others.
Do not require students
to apologize or make
amends during the
heat-of-the-moment
(everyone should have
time to cool off ). All
consequences should be
logical—and connected to
the offense. As a first
step, you might take
away social
opportunities (e.g.
recess, lunch in the
cafeteria). Let students
who bully know you will
be watching them and
their friends closely to
be sure there is no
retaliation. Notify
colleagues.
-
Do not require the
students to meet and
“work things out.”
Unlike conflicts,
bullying involves a
power imbalance which
means this strategy will
not work. Trying to find
a way to “work things
out” can re-traumatize
the student who was
bullied and does not
generally improve
relationships between
the parties. Instead,
encourage the student
who bullied to make
amends in a way (after
follow-up with an adult)
that would be meaningful
for the child who was
bullied.
Individual follow-up and
support
Even if you make good use of
the “teachable moment” when
bullying occurs, you will
still encounter situations
where staff members will
need to provide follow-up
interventions. Follow-up is
time-consuming and may not
be appropriate in every case
of bullying. In addition,
staff-members providing
follow-up are likely to need
specialized skills or
training—as well as enough
time to investigate
problems, to administer out
appropriate discipline, or
to provide support or
therapeutic intervention.
-
Provide follow-up
interventions, as
needed, for the students
who were bullied and for
those who bullied.
Determine what type of
situations and level of
severity of bullying
incidents require
follow-up intervention
from adults and
designate who should
intervene in various
circumstances.
-
Notify parents of
children who are
involved, as
appropriate.
-
Bullied students need to
process the
circumstances of the
bullying, vent their
feelings about it, and
get support. Some may
need assistance reading
or interpreting social
signals, practicing
assertive behavior,
building self-esteem, or
identifying friends and
classmates who can give
them support.
-
Students who bully may
need help recognizing
their behavior, taking
responsibility for their
behavior, developing
empathy and perspective
taking abilities, and
finding ways to make
amends. They also may
need help to learn how
to use power in socially
appropriate ways (e.g,.
focusing their energy on
causes they care about).
-
When there aresuspicions
of bullying, gather more
information by talking
with bystanders
privately. Intensify
observation and
supervision and offer
incentives or positive
consequences to active,
helpful bystanders to
increase involvement by
students. Bystanders
need opportunities to
discuss and practice
responses outside of the
heat of the moment in
order to be successful.
The more options they
have , the more
successful they will be.
For more information visit:
www.StopBullyingNow.hrsa.gov
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